Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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