i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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