Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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