we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
