I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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