There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
