I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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