Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
