I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
