i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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