I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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