i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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