Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
