I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i now understand why vodka
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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