When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
