dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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