bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
