Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
