How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
