That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
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