big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize