She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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