Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
