Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
