Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
