Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
