ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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