i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize