I want to stick my p in your. b.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We just shotgunned beers for America
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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