Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
