New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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