Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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