I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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