I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
