If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
