I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
