Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
