But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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