Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
