A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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