I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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