So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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