He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize