DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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