God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
