Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
