end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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