were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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