I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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