I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
