JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
