Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
