Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
