Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
