Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
