yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This baby is an asshole
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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