and you said cock pushups were impossible
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
