I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He has the fingertips of a God
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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