Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize