sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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