Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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