she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
