So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
