There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
