your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
